Things I learnt in 2012.

2012 was on really short year and there I was thinking 2011 was short.

This was a year full of so many happenings that almost every moment was a Kodak moment.

In 2012, I learnt the following;

  • Never trust anyone that goes about telling people he didn’t have shoes. Suspect behaviour.
  • Never underestimate your talent. It comes naturally and someone somewhere will appreciate it.
  • Struggle! Struggle!! Struggle!!!
  • Chances are you are not your boo’s boo or better still your lover’s lover. Know your place today
  • In a conflict between your brain and you heart, follow you brain the heart wasn’t made for decision making anyways.
  • You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
  • Don’t let insults get to you. This is one of the secrets of a happy life. Say my forehead is like a parking lot, I’d still smile with you.
  • In an exam, when you don’t know shingbain, don’t give up; just write what you know. Let it be confident rubbish. I’m a living testimony; I did it and it worked.
  • Happiness is the ultimate thing. If something/someone doesn’t make you happy, leave it.
  • D’banj = Modern Day Moses.
  • Milo isn’t truly the drink of future champions.

Wana

  • Don’t rub your happiness in other people’s faces.
  • There’s a limit to the number of ‘Amens’ a Nigerian president can say. Right? Jonah?
  • Reuben Abati’s job; defending the indefensible.
  • Masturbation is not a sin.
  • Nigerian pastors need jets to get closer to God.
  • Study! Study!! Study!!! = Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!
  • Music is medicine.

_Toks

  • The NBC is so clueless; be banning cool jams and shii and be overlooking the actually lewd songs.
  • The social caste system has no limits. Even on twitter we have the TBH twitter and LWKMD twitter. Where the TBH twitter claim upper class status.
  • In all your dealings, don’t be a learner.
  • Uppercut of Life.
  • Sarkodie Lied; Money na problem.
  • Most short people are chronically angry. Look around you; height issues.
  • Never diss Nigerians. Let the Ghanians relay their ordeal; all the black jokes that came after were killing!

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  • Never forget to ‘pass the mic!’
  • DKB.
  • Lowkey is the best key.
  • How Gullible people are: Power. Enter.
  • Familiarity really does breed contempt.
  • #Penetration.
  • Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. Thanks D’banj.
  • Fela remains the realest G. No one can take his place.

Nonso™(1)

  • Nudies. Never ever trust them with anyone.
  • Dammy Krane has to come to med school to see that O actually le re body.
  • Use words like Plebian and Umbrage. They make you sound cool.
  • When you’ve been involved in a twi-drama and you want to revamp your online persona, all you need do is to go on a hiatus, change your handle, bio and just act like nothing happened.
  • Side bros really don’t mind being side bros. They get the boyfriend perks without carrying out any boyfriend duties. #winning
  • Real Gs don’t make noise about being Real Gs
  • You have to know your selling point.

thor-prince-is-here

  • Fanta is the drink of champions. I don’t care what you guys think. All that Fanta bashing can’t faze me.
  • Sarcasm yato si stupidity.
  • If you ain’t giving it right, she’s gonna go elsewhere to get I right.
  • Twitter banter is incomplete without subs. In as much as subs make the banter fun, apply the
    @ button. @ a nigga today.

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  • Obama confidence > Confidence.
  • Never. Never. Add your mouth when lovers are fighting.
  • Twitter gets realer than real everyday.
  • Things change. People change. Everything is dynamic.

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  • The elephant never forgets; so does twitter.
  • Side Chicks are underrated.
  • Dancing.
  • Bintin l’aye.
  • A cups. Love? They don’t get none
  • Our God has a sense of humor. Say what you mean when you’re making your requests.

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  • Set P with but don’t date anyone off twitter.
  • If you think it, It’s most likely gonna happen.
  • Those Mayans were either high on some really good trees or they were highly misunderstood.
  • EOL no dey look face.

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  • Nipple Check. Always. No one has time for wardrobe malfunctions.
  • When someone sends you a nudie, share it with everyone you know; it’s the only noble thing to do.
  • People living in Ikorodu and Festac are the real heroes.
  • About Expectations. Don’t expect too much.

ff

  • Never. I repeat. Never. Ever. Download a Tonto Song. My BIS went off after downloading one.
  • Oyedepo Slap < Bouncer Slap
  • Ikokore is the food of the gods.
  • Mushy couples become annoying when you’re single.
  • Twitter people despise certain things because certain ‘twitter gods’ despise said things. Get a mind of your own.
  • In everything you do, never be Pacquiaoed.
  • Being sleep/pacquiao is sometimes better than sticking to one side of the fence. You don’t need to have an opinion all the time.

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  • The single life isn’t as bad as it seems. Not all the time.
  • Self-confidence is key.
  • Smokers are liable to die young. My grandfather, a chain smoker for close to 45 years died at age 82; pretty young.
  • Nothing wrong with being humble.
  • Stupidity has no limits.
  • Trust Nobody. Not even yourself.
  • Overthinking has no benefits.

Yemi Kujorejhytr

  • Nothing remains hidden forever. There’s no secret under the sun.
  • You’d eventually get over your first love.
  • Don’t get carried away with instagram filters.

Terdohdd

  • Many new dances. Etighi. Azonto. Gangnam style. I only dance them in front of my mirror.
  • You need to whip out that ‘inner bitch’ sometimes.
  • Once in a while, observe chill;  have a chill pill.

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  • Nigerian Journalism is dead. Copy and Paste is the new journalism. That’s how some bloggers and some professional BC composers threw a BRT bus full of people into the Lagoon.
  • Dubbing pays off.
  • All fingers are really truly not equal. S/O to the Regulars and VIPs at this year’s Koko Concert. If  you know what I mean.
  • If you really have to photoshop please do it right.

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  • God provides for his own. Always.
  • It’s okay to judge. Sometimes.
  • Don’t assume. Asking questions really doesn’t hurt.
  • Any phone without internet access is a stone.
  • I really don’t wanna what Olliyu looks like if Davido’s girlfriend i really fresher than Olliyu

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  • In case of tweet jacking, the tweeter with the highest number of RTs is the real tweeter.
  • You haven’t arrived till you boyfriend starts giving you monthly allowance.
  • Really. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
  • Being fashionably late never goes out of style being on time doesn’t hurt either.
  • Even a week old fetus can have a net worth 100 times yours.
  • GEJ is to blame for everything. Did your beans burn? Yes. Blame him.

Yemi Kujore _ Black Distrikt™(1)

  • One minute equals one hour when you’re studying but when you’re having fun, time decides to ride in a gulfstream.
  • Always be thankful. No matter the situation.
  • Be attentive. When a guy says he wants your waist he really wants nothing but your waist. Someone give Yvonne Nelson a bear hug.
  • Nigerians shouldn’t be allowed to use photoshop. The ‘bad behavior’ pictures I saw this year ehn.

omdz

  • The difference between its and it’s. I’ve mixed them up my whole life.
  • Laziness pays off. In the present that is.

TheMainG_=)♊

  • #POKO# . Even though we dunno what it really means.

Just for kicks.

Toodles. x

PS. Now that I’m thinking about it, People that attended this year’s Koko Concert are the real heroes. Those in regular especially. 



 

8 thoughts on “Things I learnt in 2012.

  1. Lol… Koko concert. Why were they vexing tho? VIP can’t be compared to regular. U want a preferential treatment, fly 1st class nd not economy. They should av vexed nd not trek rather than trekking nd vexing, no one sud be allowed to do the two cos u can’t eat ur cake nd have it. Do u like the koko??? Lmao!

    Nd yes, journalism in nigeria, especially the so called popular blogs is ‘copy nd paste’ plus no real story. I mean, what’s d meaning of ‘Chris Brown pose with Wizkid in Lagos’. Is that news worthy?

    See u nxt year dear, ama see saw.
    See ya, cash ya, laera

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